Speaking Truth, Finding Peace: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Living

In our fast-paced world, navigating relationships, handling emotions, and finding genuine peace can feel like a constant struggle. However, ancient wisdom, as shared through the teachings of figures like Gautam Buddha, offers profound insights into living a meaningful and tranquil life. This wisdom centers on mindful communication, mastering one's inner world, and understanding the true nature of existence.

The Art of Right Speech: More Than Just Facts

Gautam Buddha taught that not all words should be spoken, even if they are true. When asked if he ever spoke words that were disagreeable or unpleasant to others, Buddha replied that there is no categorical "yes" or "no" answer . He outlined a profound philosophy of speech, distinguishing between what is merely a fact (तथ्य) and what is truth (सत्य). For instance, someone might say, "All Indians are good," which might be their truth based on a good experience, but it isn't necessarily a fact .

According to Buddha, words should only be spoken if they meet specific criteria:

Truth (सत्य) and Fact (तथ्य):The words must be true and factually correct .

Beneficial (हितकारी):They must be beneficial to the other person .

Agreeable (सहमत) and Pleasant (प्रिय) The other person should ideally agree with them and find them pleasant .

If words are not true, not factual, not beneficial, disagreeable, or unpleasant, Buddha would never utter such words . For example, calling a sane person "mad" is neither true nor factual, not beneficial, and certainly not pleasant or agreeable . Even if words are true and factual, but not beneficial or agreeable (like commenting on someone's physical appearance in a negative way), Buddha still would not speak them, as they only cause pain . Causing pain to another person plants a seed of suffering in one's own mind, which will eventually sprout .

However, if words are true, factual, and beneficial, but might be unpleasant or disagreeable to the listener, Tathagata (Gautam Buddha) would utter them, but only after considering the right time, occasion, and the recipient . For example, telling someone they aren't studying is true and beneficial for their future, but might not be pleasant for them to hear . Such truths should not be repeated daily but shared when the listener might be more receptive .

Conversely, words that are not true, not factual, and not beneficial, yet are pleasant and agreeable (like false praise), are also avoided by Tathagata . This includes boosting someone's ego with beliefs they don't embody, which can hinder their progress . The source gives the example of Hitler's followers telling him he was a powerful leader; while factually true that people listened, it wasn't beneficial for him, Germany, or the Jewish people, and it fueled his misdeeds .

The impact of our words on others should always be considered . Ultimately, truth alone prevails, and inner strength comes from walking the path of truth.

Overcoming Hatred and Anger: Five Pathways to Peace

It is natural to experience anger, hatred, or resentment towards others in life . Buddha identified five approaches to release hatred and cultivate inner peace .

1. Loving Kindness (प्रेम): Fill your heart with love towards others . Even if people are violent, bad, or annoying, it is your choice whether to retaliate with violence, suffering, or hatred . This is ultimately between you and the divine, not just you and the other person . Just as a bank demands repayment of a loan regardless of how you spent it, the divine will ask what you did with the life and faculties given to you, not what others did .

2. Compassion (करुणा): Maintain a sense of compassion in your heart, no matter what others do . The story of Newton's dog, Diamond, illustrates this beautifully . After years of work, Newton's thesis was accidentally destroyed by his dog knocking over a candle. Instead of lashing out, Newton gently picked up his dog and said, "My silly Diamond, you don't even know what you've done!" . Choosing compassion in a moment of anger can dissolve the anger .

3. Equanimity (समता): Understand that each person is the heir to their own karma. What they do, they will account for, and what you do, you will account for . This perspective helps one remain calm rather than reacting with anger . Getting angry means you've already lost the battle. If one person in a relationship doesn't understand something after repeated explanations, it's futile to keep trying to change them; instead, focus on changing yourself . As a child, the speaker prayed to change the world, then society, then family, and finally understood that the only person one can truly change is oneself. Even changing oneself is challenging due to the mind's restless nature .

4. Ignoring/Disregarding (नजर अंदाज करना): Sometimes, the best approach is to simply disregard or ignore the person. This is harder with close relationships due to emotional investment but possible with 99% of other interactions . Ignoring makes it easier to forget, and forgetting makes it easier to disregard .

5. Ownership of Actions (अपने कर्मों का उत्तरदायित्व):Take complete responsibility for your own actions. "Whatever I do in my life, I am solely responsible for it. Everyone else is just an excuse" . The only person whose actions you can guarantee is yourself . Embracing this ownership simplifies speaking the truth and naturally reduces anger .

The Illusion of Accumulation and the True Nature of Giving

Life often presents an illusion of gaining and losing, but fundamentally, nothing is truly added or taken away; only its form changes, much like water becoming ice or steam . The sources present an insightful story of a traveler, a hotelier, a grocer, a milkman, a farmer, a policeman, and a courtesan, where money circulates through a community, settling all debts without anyone actually "earning" anything new, leaving everyone debt-free . This illustrates how the karmic cycle operates – it merely shifts forms, and our actions eventually return to us .

The sources also highlight the true purpose of wealth and resources, outlining three destinies of wealth.

1. Superior (उत्तम गति) - Charity (दान): Giving to others for their benefit, helping society, or supporting noble causes. This is an investment that guarantees a return of joy and peace.

2. Medium (मध्यम गति) - Enjoyment (भोग): Spending on oneself for pleasure and personal benefit. While not wrong, it is considered an ordinary human life, not a divine one.

3. Inferior (अधम गति) - Destruction (नाश): When wealth is neither given nor enjoyed, it eventually leads to loss through theft, fire, disease, or legal battles . What is not given does not remain .

Living solely for oneself and one's immediate family is common but not particularly profound . True significance lies in what you give. As a poem shared in the source states, "When a house is on fire, the vessel salvaged is the one that will be of use... So when the world is on fire with aging and death, save what you want by giving it away" .

Society's Perception vs. Your Inner Truth

The desire for external validation can rob us of peace. The story of the man who saved a girl from a dog in New York Central Park illustrates this vividly. A reporter initially wanted to headline him as a "New Yorker," then "American," but upon learning he was "Arab," changed the headline to "Arab Terrorist Kills Innocent Dog" . This highlights how society interprets events based on its own biases and desires, not necessarily the objective truth.

Trying to please society or constantly worrying about what others think will steal your peace. Even if you become wealthy, wise, beautiful, or talented, you cannot live in peace if you are constantly concerned with external perceptions. You must remain steadfast on your own path of truth, regardless of how society chooses to interpret or present it .

Life is brief and precious, like a leaf fluttering in the wind, moving towards its eventual fall. The greatest purpose is to live each moment fully and to find a meaningful answer to the question: "What was the purpose of my life?" when facing mortality .

A wise person enjoys life fully and also gives, knowing that clinging to possessions is foolish. The goal isn't to be remembered after death but to live each moment with awareness and purpose.

In conclusion, by practicing right speech, mastering our emotions, taking ownership of our actions, understanding the karmic cycle, and valuing inner peace over external validation, we can lead a life of profound tranquility and meaning.

Hariom tat sat 

Sangrur 

Punjab